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goodrTIMES

CARL’S ANTI-RESOLUTIONS: 3 REASONS TO TRASH YOUR PLANS AND BE HAPPY

For 2021, we released three sunglasses inspired by our favorite foods: pizza (The Passion of the Crust), ice cream (Sunnies with a Chance of Sprinkles) and tacos (It’s Tuesday Somewhere). We love you, and we promise to eat more of you. These polarized shades won’t slip or bounce and feature colorful prints of each tasty treat...wait a second...

Pizza, ice cream and tacos?! Those aren’t MY favorite foods!!! My favorite food is shrimp!!! WHERE is the shrimp-inspired sunglass?!?!?! ARGH. This is such an injustice. First, the cost of maintaining a yacht, now this. I guess life can’t be perfect. And neither can you. So feel free to break that restrictive meal plan. It’s worth it. And you can trust me. I have a yacht.

Sincerely,

Carl the Flamingo

WHAT PAIR ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR?!